Shen Ai, Singapore
When
I was 18 years old my mother got ill, and so she started believing in
the Lord Jesus. At the time, I knew the Lord Jesus’ name but didn’t
understand anything about faith in the Lord. It was quite a coincidence
that I later went to work for a company where most of the employees were
Christians. Through interacting with them, I saw how they treated
people with love and patience, and I came to believe that Christians
were a pretty good bunch of people. During that period, there was a
colleague who often told me the story about how the Lord Jesus was
nailed to the cross in order to redeem mankind. I gradually developed an
interest in faith in the Lord, and started going with my colleagues to
their church to worship. The first time I entered the church and heard
hymns praising God being sung I was unexpectedly moved to tears by the
Lord’s love. I prayed to the Lord like this: “Oh, Lord Jesus! Thank You
for picking me out of the vast ocean of humanity to become one of Your
daughters. I wish to follow You forever….” During that period, whenever I
met some difficulties in my daily life, or was mocked by my friends and
relatives because of my faith in the Lord, as long as I came in front
of the Lord and prayed, my spirit would find immense release. I felt
that the Lord Jesus was my only reliance in life and that I would never
leave the Lord’s side. At that time my favorite hymn was: “Rock, rock,
Jesus Christ! Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other
name under heaven, only You are the savior. You are the mediator, You
are the son of God, You are the lamb. You are the way and the truth, You
are the life, You are the light, You are the rock, the fortress, the
city of refuge and the shield. We belong to You; we will never be shaken
from generation to generation.” And this is how I relied on the Lord’s
great power and motivation gained from the guidance of the Lord’s words
to get through all the difficulties and troubles of life.
But
then, for some unknown reason, I started to slowly feel that I wasn’t
enjoying the meetings anymore. The pastor’s sermons were always the same
old stuff, without any new light in them, and I felt that I wasn’t
gaining anything. My spirit began to wither, and became weaker and
weaker. Because of this, I often prayed to the Lord like this: “Lord, in
my heart there is no desire to go to the church meetings. When I do go I
just go through the motions and don’t gain sustenance for my spiritual
life. Lord, I feel helpless. I’m wandering around at a loss about what
to do. Please lead me out of this.” But no matter how I prayed and
begged I could never feel the Lord’s presence. The darkness and pain
grew in my heart and my confidence became weaker by the day. Then, in
2014, my husband had an accident while driving under the influence of
alcohol. We ended up paying 2 years of medical bills and compensation,
which left us with debts of over 100,000 yuan. It was this debt pressure
that forced my husband and I to relocate to Singapore to work and make
more money.
In April 2016 we arrived in Singapore. The stress and
difficulties of everyday life here turned out to be far greater than I’d
expected. I started working over 10 hours every day, which left me
physically exhausted. But even worse were the scoldings I got from my
co-workers and boss in the store. This physical and psychological stress
was a source of enormous suffering for me, and I cried every day after
work. I felt very alone, without anyone to understand my situation or
show some concern for me. Living like this was so painful that in my
heart I even started to complain about the Lord. It was an environment
that I could face no longer, and I just wanted to return to China as
soon as possible. But it’s often the case that just when people are at
their wit’s end God appears. So just when the suffering was at its
worst, and I was feeling the most helpless, one of my co-workers who
lived with me, sister Wang, saw that I had a Bible on my bedside table
and so told me that she too was a Christian. I was delighted to find out
that sister Wang was also a believer in the Lord, and from that day on
we often got together to fellowship topics about faith in God. Sister
Wang encouraged me to pray to God often in everything and to keep my
faith in Him. Because I hadn’t been in Singapore very long, I still
wasn’t at all used to the food. So every day after work sister Wang used
to cook dinner according to my tastes. I was very moved by this, and I
knew that this kind of love came from God, so I was very grateful to God
for arranging for someone to be there to support me when I was feeling
totally lonely and helpless. Some time after, I was introduced by sister
Wang to 2 other sisters. The first time I got together with them I
couldn’t hold back the feeling of grievance in my heart, and the tears
were soon rolling down my face. The sisters comforted me and talked
about God’s intentions with me. One of them said: “You’ve managed to get
out of China with no problem so that can only mean that God has
permitted it and that He intends something wonderful for you here. We
just don’t know what it is yet.” The sister also leaned upon the story
of Job from the Bible in her fellowship with me: “Job lost all of his
immense wealth and all of his sons and daughters. He even had boils all
over his body, but during that time of his greatest trials and suffering
he never once complained about God. He just submitted to God’s plan for
him and praised God’s name. When Job stood firm and bore witness for
God during his trials he saw God’s blessings. From the trials of Job we
can see that many of the things that befall us all have God’s intentions
behind them. So no matter what kind of situation or environment we
encounter we must not complain to God. Instead, we should first submit
and seek God’s intentions….” While listening to the sister’s fellowship
my heart gradually became tranquil. Yes, Job was able to submit to God
even during the tremendous trials and suffering that he underwent. He
didn’t complain and was even able to praise God’s name, which was such a
wonderful testimony! And my difficulties were trifling compared to
Job’s, so if he could still submit to God then I shouldn’t complain
again and make God sad. The sister’s fellowship gave me the confidence
and courage to once more face my problems, and in my heart I felt
considerable release. At the same time, I felt that the sisters’
fellowship was full of brightness: They had used the story of Job to
illuminate my current difficulties in life and shown me a practical way
forward. This was something that I’d never previously recognized when
reading the Bible. The meeting was very fruitful for me, and after it I
could feel my spirit growing brighter by the day and work was no longer
so troublesome. After that, I often met with the sisters, and every
meeting with them was very rewarding.
One time when we were together we read this passage of God’s words: “God
created these two people and treated them as His companions. As their
only family, God looked after their living and also took care of their
basic necessities. Here, God appears as a parent of Adam and Eve. … The
attitude and way in which God treated Adam and Eve is akin to how human
parents show concern for their own children. It’s also like how human
parents love, look after, and care for their own sons and
daughters—real, visible, and tangible. Instead of putting Himself in a
high and mighty position, God personally used skins to make clothing for
man. It doesn’t matter whether this fur coat was used to cover their
modesty or to shield them from the cold. In short, this clothing used to
cover man’s body was personally made by God with His own hands. Rather
than creating it simply through the thought or miraculous methods as
people imagine, God had legitimately done something man thinks God could
not and should not do. This may be a simple thing some might not even
think as worthy of mentioning, but it also allows all those who follow
God but were previously full of vague ideas about Him to gain an insight
into His genuineness and loveliness, and to see His faithful and humble
nature” (“God’s Work, God’s Disposition, and God Himself I” in
The Word Appears in the Flesh). I was very surprised to read these
words, as the ideas seemed strange to me. I’d been reading the Bible for
so many years, but the significance of God personally clothing Adam and
Eve in animal skins had never occurred to me. I certainly never
realized that behind God’s performance of this action there was so much
of God’s intention. It was like a light had been turned on in my heart,
and it was unveiling the mysteries in the Bible for me. What God had
said was expressed so well that it warmed my heart and allowed me to see
how intimate God’s relationship with mankind was. God was like
mankind’s parents, full of care, concern, and affection. God gave us the
best things, which proves His immense love for us humans! It felt like
my relationship with God had instantly become much closer.
After that, I read another passage of God’s words: “Since
the creation of the world I have begun to predestine and select this
group of people, namely, you today. … Even the things you do and the
people you meet every single day are arranged by My hands, not to
mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today is actually My
arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed
calmly” (“The Seventy-fourth Utterance” in The Word Appears in
the Flesh). This passage explains that whatever we do or whoever we see
every day of our lives is all organized by God. Reading this opened up
my mind tremendously. So, the reason I’d gone overseas, and the reason
I’d met the sisters and gotten their support, were because God was
controlling everything! Since God had led me every step of the way so
far then it made sense to believe that God had also prepared the way
forward for me. Thinking like this increased my trust in God. I felt
that God was at my side watching over me, and I no longer felt hesitant
or helpless. I was willing to hand over the management of everything to
God, and believed that He would lead me through any and all
difficulties. During those days, even though work was still as tiring as
ever I felt great joy in my heart. I looked forward immensely to my
meetings with the sisters because I could always gain sustenance from
them and learn something new, which was completely different from what
I’d gotten from going to my previous church.
But a few days later
when I was watching a gospel movie with sister Wang I suddenly saw the
words “Eastern Lightning” come up on the screen. I became a bit agitated
because I remembered that in China the pastors had often talked about
Eastern Lightning in their sermons. They said things like: “People who
believe in Eastern Lightning aren’t calling on the name of the Lord
Jesus in their prayers. Instead, they’re praying to Almighty God.” The
pastors also warned us not to have any contact with the Eastern
Lightning followers so that we wouldn’t be confused and stolen away by
them. They said that if we abandoned the name of the Lord and betrayed
the Lord Jesus we would be…. Thinking of all this made me alarmed, and I
quickly broke off the conversation with sister Wang. For a period of
time after that I started to avoid sister Wang at work, but I still
often thought about the care that she had shown for me. I thought about
the nice times I’d had meetings with them and how their fellowship was
fresh and enlightening and totally in accord with the Lord’s words. They
were also decent and upstanding in their behavior, and I particularly
gained a lot from the passages of God’s words that they gave me to read,
which I found to be very practical and which included many truths that
I’d never heard before. After reading those words, I felt that my
relationship with God was growing closer and that I was coming out of
the negativity, weakness, and spiritual darkness that had engulfed me. I
had finally gotten some confidence and hope in my life. This was the
confirmation of the work of the Holy Spirit! This was also proof that
sister Wang and the others had a faith that was right, and was probably
actually the one true way! But the one thing I couldn’t get past in my
mind was why when they prayed they used the name of Almighty God and not
the name of the Lord Jesus. I felt very bemused by this and didn’t know
what to do. So I said this prayer to God: “God, You have arranged for
me to become acquainted with a few sisters and have let me learn that
they belong to Eastern Lightning and use the name of Almighty God in
their prayers. Now I don’t know which way to choose or whether or not
Eastern Lightning really is Your return. God, if Eastern Lightning
really is the work of Your appearance I beg You to enlighten and guide
me so that I can follow in Your footsteps.” After praying, my heart felt
more grounded and I was able to discuss with sister Wang the doubts
that I’d been having. Sister Wang said: “These issues that you’ve raised
are exactly the same ones I had when I first started investigating
God’s work of the last days. It was only after I read the words of
Almighty God that I was able to understand these issues. Why don’t we
fellowship about God’s words now?” After hearing sister Wang say this, I
agreed to start investigating God’s work of the last days.
That
evening 2 more sisters came over (Xiaoya and Lianxin) and they both bore
witness to God’s work of the last days for me. After listening to their
fellowship, I asked them: “We used to use the name of the Lord Jesus in
prayer and call on His name to heal sickness and cast out devils. Why
has God’s name changed to Almighty God?” Sister Xiaoya replied:
“Actually regarding Almighty God’s name, there are several prophecies
about it in the Bible, in the Book of Revelation. For example, chapter 1
verse 8 says: ‘I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the ending, said the Lord, which is, and which was, and which is to come, the Almighty.’ Chapter 11 verse 17 says: ‘Saying,
We give you thanks, O LORD God Almighty, which are, and were, and are
to come; because you have taken to you your great power, and have
reigned.’ And chapter 19 verse 6 says: ‘And I heard as
it were the voice of a great multitude, and as the voice of many waters,
and as the voice of mighty thunder, saying, Alleluia: for the Lord God
omnipotent reigns.’ From this we can see that during the last
days God is using the name Almighty God to begin the work of judgment.
This is something that God has planned for long ago.” After listening to
the sister’s explanation, it all suddenly became clear to me: The name
“the Almighty” is in the Bible! And the Almighty must mean Almighty God!
Then sister Lianxin played a hymn video of God’s words: “In
each and every age, in each stage of His work, God’s name has carried
weight. God’s name hasn’t rung empty. His every name reflects an age.
Jehovah, Jesus, and the Messiah all represent the Spirit of God. Yet
these names just represent the ages in God’s management, but not His
entirety. The names people on earth call God can’t express His entire
disposition, can’t express all that He is. They are just God’s names in
different ages. And so, when the final age—the age of the last
days—arrives, God’s name will change once more. He won’t be called
Jehovah nor Jesus, much less the Messiah. He will be called the powerful
and almighty God. And with this name He will end the age. God was once
known as Jehovah. He was also called the Messiah. And out of love and
respect, people used to call Him Jesus the Savior. Today God is not
Jehovah nor Jesus, whom people knew in the past. He is the God who’s
returned in the last days, the God who will end this age. Replete with
His entire disposition, full of authority, honor and glory, He is the
God, the God Himself, He is the God Himself who rises up at the ends of
the earth. He is the God who rises at the ends of the earth. … The
reason God took on this name, on this name and disposition is to make
man see that He is a righteous God, that He is a righteous God. He is
the sun, the blazing sun. He is the flame, the searing flame. So all of
mankind will worship Him, the one true God. And they, they will see His
true face: He is not only the Redeemer. He is not only the God of the
Israelites. But He is the God of all creations on earth and in the
heavens or seas” (“The Significance of God’s Name” in Follow
the Lamb and Sing New Songs). After watching the video the sisters
fellowshiped a lot more with me, such as truths regarding why God
changes names and the significance of God’s name for each age. This is
when I finally understood: God is called by a different name during each
age, and each name has a meaning that is representative of God’s
disposition and the work that He needs to do during that age. But each
name that is chosen is only representative of part of God’s disposition
during that age, not His whole disposition. For example, the name
Jehovah represented God’s work during the Age of Law and also
represented God’s imprecatory yet merciful disposition. The name the
Lord Jesus represented God’s work during the Age of Grace, and the
disposition represented was compassionate and merciful. During the last
days God has changed His name again, and is using the name Almighty God
to do the work of judgment of the last days. The entire age is being
brought to an end through God’s disposition of justice, majesty, and
wrath. God’s disposition becomes gradually revealed to mankind as His
work develops and God doesn’t wish for mankind to restrict Him to any
one stage of His work. God especially doesn’t wish for mankind to use
any one name to draw up boundaries for what God has and is. God uses
different names to differentiate between different ages and do the work
necessary for each age so that people can recognize all of God’s
disposition and all that He has and is. This is God’s wisdom and
omnipotence. When the day finally comes when God’s work is finished
there will be no need to call God by any name. God is the Creator of all
things, God is God, and God’s authority and greatness cannot be
encompassed within any one name. I feel that Almighty God’s words are
full of authority and that only God is able to speak in this way and
uncover the mystery of His name. And only God is able to say: “I am the God of all creatures throughout heavens and earth and seas.”
I now believe that Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus and that the
words of Almighty God are God’s utterances, are the voice of God.
This
was the moment when I realized why my spirit never gained the
sustenance it needed at those church meetings and why using the name of
the Lord Jesus in prayer couldn’t gain the leadership of the Lord: It
was because the work done under the name of Jesus has already finished.
God is now doing new work and so has a new name, and so anyone who calls
on the name of the Lord Jesus in prayer will not get the work of the
Holy Spirit. This was like an epiphany for me. I now understood why
sister Wang and the other 2 sisters gave such fresh and lively
fellowship, why they understood so much about faith in God, and why they
had such strong confidence and strength: It was all because they had
accepted God’s new work, gained God’s new words, and were following in
the footsteps of the Lamb. By contrast, all those people who don’t
accept God’s work of the last days and don’t read the words currently
being expressed by God will never follow in the footsteps of the Lamb
but will live their lives in darkness without a path to follow. Only God
is the sustenance for human life, and if mankind moves away from God’s
leadership we will wither and die. I couldn’t help but silently give
praise and thanks to God. I thanked Almighty God for leading me in
welcoming the return of the Lord, making me become certain about
Almighty God’s work of the last days, and allowing me to follow in the
footsteps of the Lamb and gain nurturing and sustenance from God’s
words. All glory be to Almighty God! Amen!
from The books of The Church of Almighty God How I Turned Back to Almighty God
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